Tag Archives: hope

Beneath the surface: Maryville resident fights through pain to live joyfully

By Jacki Wood, Nodaway News Leader

“Look beneath the surface; let not the several quality of a thing nor its worth escape thee” – Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, 167 AD

Karin Yarnell doesn’t have the energy to play with her kids. Or do house projects. Or be involved with her church or help others or spend time with friends.

All of which was a big part of her life just a few short years ago.

“I used to be extremely active,” the 40-year-old Maryville resident said. “I loved to play sports, work out, hike, swim, bike and run.”

Now, she does none of those things.

To look at her, though, nothing seems wrong.

But beneath the surface, she lives her life in pain.

“I rarely have pain-free days,” she said. “I have learned to fight through pain as much as possible to be able to do what I love. Some days, though, the pain wins, and I go to bed.

“I reserve my best for my family and my ministry. After that, there isn’t much left.”

She and her husband Jason, who is the Baptist Student Union minister, have three children, Meghan, Caleb and Allison. She is a homemaker and also serves as a BSU mentor.

Diagnosed illnesses

Yarnell lives with what have been called invisible illnesses – chronic conditions not visible on the outside.

She was diagnosed with Hashimoto’s in 2005 and Celiac disease in 2008.

With Hashimoto’s, her immune system attacks her thyroid and prevents it from making enough hormones.

Celiac disease is a digestive disorder that damages the small intestine and is triggered by eating foods containing gluten.

She was on thyroid medication for several years but her body started having hyperthyroid reaction to it and she was taken off it.

Then in 2012, she was also diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and Fibromyalgia.

CFS affects many body systems making it difficult to do normal activities. Fibromyalgia includes long-term pain spread throughout the body in the joints, muscles, tendons and other soft tissues and is often linked to fatigue, sleep problems, headaches, depression and anxiety.

“I have been under the care of several doctors and functional practitioners throughout the years who have all provided me with great knowledge and have helped in various ways,” she said. “My treatment right now consists of a very strict diet, rest, managing stress, low exercise and managing symptoms with medication as they arise.”

Daily life

“Fatigue is the single most life-changing symptom I have,” Yarnell said. “I can manage pain. I can manage not feeling well, but the fatigue is relentless. It’s not a fatigue that goes away with sleep. It doesn’t go away with a nap. It’s always with me. It affects me every day.”

In addition to fatigue, she is extremely sensitive to gluten and has severe reactions to even a small amount of cross-contamination. She makes her own meals, doesn’t eat out and takes food with her wherever she goes.

“I try to set people at ease, but I know some feel uncomfortable when I can’t eat what they have prepared,” she said. “I never expect anyone to cater to my needs, but I know they still feel badly about it.”

Another symptom is brain fog which has affected her ability to communicate with others.

“I used to be a confident public speaker, but now I have difficulty stringing together coherent thoughts.”

She also can’t drive for long periods of time as her eyes grow weary and her whole system wants to go to sleep.

KarinYarnell

Dedicated support

“My family is tremendously supportive,” she said. “My husband is phenomenal. He believes me and affirms me when I tell him how I feel even though I look fine on the outside. He prays for me. He encourages me to try new things that might help my symptoms. He adds extra work on himself so I don’t have to do it and he never complains.”

She said her children are incredibly supportive as well.

“They understand I can’t do the things I used to do. They make me laugh. They are understanding and sympathetic.”

Yarnell said her church recently started an encouragement group for women with chronic illness. It is open to the public and meets at 7:30 pm on the first Monday of the month at Laura Street Baptist Church.

“It is a blessing to be around others who understand how you feel,” she said. “I read a lot of blogs and talk to people online that share my symptoms. Sometimes it’s just nice to know you aren’t alone.”

  

Different view

One of the biggest lessons she’s learned is how to depend on God for everything.

“I need God every day,” she said. “He is my Friend, my Comfort, my Savior. I talk to Him a lot about the pain I am feeling. I know He knows and understands. He sees my struggle that is invisible to everyone else and He is there for me. He gives me joy, peace and contentment.”

She is also continuing to learn it’s okay to not do everything that is expected.

“The reality is that I can’t,” she said. “I have to choose to not feel guilty about it.”

Despite living with these illnesses, Yarnell offers encouragement and hope.

“It’s okay and important to grieve,” she said. “Cry over what is lost, but don’t quit.

“Be kind to yourself. You don’t have to do what everyone else does. You are fighting a battle others know nothing about. Don’t compare what you can do with what healthy people do.

“You can still be happy! It might take some extra work, and you might have to cut things out in order to give your best to what you find the most meaningful, but it’s worth it.”

Background information came from the National Institutes of Health at nih.gov.

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Making ‘family time’ a priority

Do you have regrets?

I always wanted to be the person who said no to that question. No regrets.

But do I? Probably.

I wish I would’ve done this. Or I probably shouldn’t have done that.

I’m not sure I really even like that question, though, or the idea of it.

Life is a journey, full of ups and downs, good choices and not so good ones.

And that is true when it comes to parenting, especially as our children have gotten into their older teen years.

I guess my husband, Larry, was pondering some of these same things last fall when he decided we were going to implement what he called “Family Time.”

Let me back up a bit and say that family has always been extremely important to us. Since our children were very young, we’ve tried to set aside one night a week for Family Home Evening, a program recommended by our church. We’ve also tried to read scriptures and pray together every day. And we’ve also tried to spend as much time together as possible, supporting them in their activities, getting together with extended family and enjoying family vacations together.

Some of these things have been more successful than others.

In the last couple of years, though, it’s been extremely difficult as our kids started high school and became more involved with things.

Larry was reminded of guidance we once received from the leaders of our church: “We call upon parents to devote their best efforts to the teaching and rearing of their children. We counsel parents and children to give highest priority to family prayer, gospel study and instruction and wholesome family activities.”

Have we been giving our children our “best efforts?” Not always. We needed to do better.

So what is family time? Ideally, it’s 30 minutes to an hour set aside for praying, reading scriptures, listening to each other without devices distracting us and finding some fun to throw in there like a quick game of charades, or if we have more time, a board game. Or we’ll watch a video on YouTube. Or just let them talk about what’s important to them.

 

I can’t say Family Time happens every single day. Some days it’s just impossible for all of us to be in one place at the same time and awake. Larry leaves in the morning before everyone is up and goes to sleep sometimes before everyone gets home.

Sometimes it’s only five or ten minutes, long enough to see how everyone’s day was, pray and read a few scriptures.

Sometimes we combine it with dinner. Or we read and eat at the same time.

Sometimes we do it over the phone or use FaceTime.

Sometimes we laugh so much we cry. And sometimes it’s rough, especially when people are moody or tired, and someone leaves the room in anger.

But looking back at the last six months, I feel more connected with my kids than I ever have before.

And more hopeful.

Because when I look around at the world and all the darkness that seems to be growing with each day, I want to make sure I’m doing what I can to help spread more light. And help them do the same.

If we want to see change in the world, we must be the change. And I believe that starts at home.

Dieter F. Uchtdorf said: “We build deep and loving family relationships by doing simple things together, like family dinner and by just having fun. We talk with, rather than about, each other. We learn from each other, and we appreciate our differences as well as our commonalities.”

So I’m encouraging you to start your own Family Time, whatever that means to you. It doesn’t have to be like ours. If you’re not religious, that’s okay. Make it your own. Five or ten minutes when they wake up or before they go to bed. Or a phone call or FaceTime every afternoon on your break at work. Whatever works for you and your situation.

But make it a priority. Show them how much you love them by giving of your time, even when you don’t think you have any to spare.

You won’t regret it.


prescription addiction: small towns not immune to rising opioid epidemic, Part 4

By Jacki Wood, written for the Nodaway News Leader, March 2016

Editor’s note: this is the last part in the series; the names have been changed to protect their privacy.

Nine days after law enforcement officers and Family Services visited Bethany’s home and issued a stern warning to her step-father about getting help, her family moved halfway across the country.

A new state, larger city and several hospitals to frequent, her step-father’s drug abuse only worsened.

Soon thereafter, Bethany was sent to live with her grandparents where it would be “safer for her to stay.”
“That was the healthiest and best thing that ever happened in my childhood,” she said.

***

For the 2016 legislative session, Missouri State Senator Holly Rehder proposed HB 1892, a prescription drug monitoring program, after similar bills she had proposed the last couple of years failed.

During a Senate Special Committee Meeting to highlight the opioid epidemic in January, Rehder told the personal story of her daughter’s drug addiction which began with prescription painkillers.

“I tell you this story to show that drug addiction is no respecter of persons,” she said. “It crosses all socioeconomic statuses. When you go into a high school and ask the kids, ‘what do you want to be when you grow up?’ The answers are ‘a doctor,’ ‘a lawyer,’ ‘a business owner.’ None say, ‘I want to be an addict.’

“Yet addiction is the growing epidemic of our time.”

***

After Adrianna’s mom moved out and she cut ties with her, the effects of her mom’s prescription drug abuse continued to plague her.

“I struggled with depression,” she said. “My attitude toward everything became negative. And I still have trust and confidence issues.”

The one person that was supposed to teach her how to love and be loved was gone, she said.

***

In 2014, Missouri State Representative Steve Lynch helped pass legislation that allowed qualified first responders to use Naloxone, an antidote for heroin overdoses.

Lynch has filed three bills this legislative session to continue to fight opioid overdoses.

HB 1568 would allow pharmacists to dispense Naloxone to individuals.

“Massachusetts passed a similar law and saw opiate-related deaths cut nearly in half as a result,” Lynch said. “We have the opportunity to put a safe, non-addictive drug in the hands of folks who can use it to save lives.”

HB 1569 would provide immunity to those who seek medical attention for someone suffering from an overdose and HB 1570 would authorize a $5 fee for drug-related court cases to fund rehabilitation programs.

***

Emergency Department Nurse Manager Pat Giffin, RN, said SSM Health St. Francis uses Naloxone when an opioid overdose case comes to the hospital.

“The problem is getting so severe that another one of the Suggested Emergency Department Prescribing Practice Recommendations is that healthcare providers should encourage policies that allow providers to prescribe and dispense Naloxone to public health, law enforcement and families as an antidote for opioid overdoses,” she said. “We have the advantage of also having a physician who is specially trained so he can prescribe Suboxone to help those with addictions get off the opioids.”

Suboxone contains Naloxone as well as buprenorphine, a controlled substance to treat pain and addiction to narcotic pain relievers.

Another option for those dealing with opioid addiction is Methadone, a pain reliever used as part of drug addiction detox and maintenance. It is only available from certified pharmacies and there are several Methadone clinics across the state.

***

It’s been a year now since Adrianna’s mom moved out.

“I have been growing up on my own, teaching myself how to be an adult and I have missed out on so many things that I would have done with her,” she said. “She will never get this time back with me.”

Looking back, Adrianna is still struggling with how to deal with it all.

“My mom became a prescription drug abuser,” she said. “And it tore my family and my life apart.”

***

But there is hope.

Bethany has been there. She understands, at least to some extent, what Adrianna is going through.

“In all the books I have read over the years, for my own healing or to make sure my children never experience anything like I did, one thing stood out to me,” she said.

“A child who has at least one adult in their life – it only has to be one – who they have bonded with and who believes in them and adores them, they absolutely can heal and have a ‘normal’ life with healthy relationships.

“My advice would be to embrace that adult – that aunt, grandmother, teacher, coach or pastor who embraces them for who they are – and try to make a strong connection with them.”


The gift of autism: Fox family helps spread autism awareness

Creed Fox knows all about tornadoes. He knows the wind speeds of an F-5 tornado and what kinds of clouds are in the sky.

The almost 10-year-old also knows about airplanes. He knows their military branch, their engine types and who makes them.

But the little boy who loves tornados and airplanes would not ride in an elevator. He also doesn’t play with neighborhood children, struggles with eye contact, has trouble with table manners and refuses to leave the house after he comes home from school.

Creed is one of the 54.

One in 54 boys who are affected by Autism Spectrum Disorder.

The Centers for Disease Control estimates that one in 88 children will be affected by an Autism Spectrum Disorder, and of those 88, one in 54 will be a boy. Creed was diagnosed in January 2011 at the age of 7 1/2.

Magical moments

While things may be more difficult at times for his family because of autism, it has also opened their eyes to what his mom calls “magical moments.”

“I find pleasure in watching him do things that excite him,” Maryville resident Penni Fox said. “As we were leaving school yesterday, our normal routine is to go to the post office. Well, I went a different way, which is not allowed, and we found two cement mixers pouring concrete into a newly dug basement hole.

“He was mesmerized as we talked about rebar and concrete and the workers doing the job.

“At a time before autism, I would have barely noticed the work taking place.”

Magical moments.

“Seeing things that are so unimportant to most people become magical moments to my son with autism,” Penni said. “That is the gift of autism.”

Elevators

Some people don’t see it that way, as a gift. But that’s what Penni and her husband, Chuck, are trying to do. Share their story and share their gift.

That little boy who can tell you everything about tornadoes and airplanes goes into an absolute panic when he nears an elevator.

It’s his latest autism hangup, Penni said, but he’s working on it with a specialist.

“He will now step inside it as long as someone holds the ‘door open’ button,” Penni said. “Then he examines the inside for the manufacturer and the capacity, whether it says number of people or a total weight limit, and he can remember who makes many of the elevators.”

The Foxes

Chuck and Penni Fox are natives of Northwest Missouri. In addition to Creed, they have an older son, Drake.

As a toddler, Penni said Creed was reaching his developmental milestones, although at the end of the window or even months later, but he was doing some amazing and bizarre things, too.

“I knew he was struggling but nothing was obvious enough to warrant testing for autism or anything else,” she said. “He was just a little quirky.”

They moved to Maryville in 2008 when Chuck retired from the Air Force. He worked as an assistant coach for the Northwest Missouri State women’s basketball team with former coach, Gene Steinmeyer. (See story on Creed and the team on page A1)

“Creed started kindergarten at Eugene Field that year, but he struggled,” Penni said.

Diagnoses

Soon, Creed received a diagnosis of dyslexia along with ADHD. He repeated kindergarten and Penni thought he was doing better, although he was still behind academically.

During the next year, however, Penni said she realized something was really wrong.

While discussing his academic performance with his teacher, Penni said she blurted out, “Do you think he has autism?”

The school district worked very hard to get a plan in place, she said, while they waited nearly four months for testing at Children’s Mercy in Kansas City and at the University of Kansas. He was diagnosed with high functioning autism.

“High functioning is the blessing in the autism diagnosis,” she said. “It means he is highly verbal, does most self care and has these out of the world understandings of the strangest things for a seven-year-old kid.”

During the early stages of his diagnosis, Penni said she kept reading about the “gift of autism.”

“At that point, I wasn’t sure it was a gift,” she said. “But it was a relief to know what was wrong with Creed.”

Toothpicks & drinking straws

Penni has chosen to work from home part-time so she can be available full-time for Creed. It means very little time away from him because he can’t be left with just anyone.

“Paying a teenager to watch TV while he plays is not a reality,” she said. “He may decide to build a recycling landfill by opening full garbage bags and burying them in the back yard.

“He might fill the bathtub with 25 plastic shopping bags to see if they float.

“He might make toilet paper sculptures in the bathroom sink then place them in areas his brother stores his possessions to dry.”

All true stories.

On the plus side, she said he loves art and anything that can become a sculpture, like that toilet paper, or even toothpicks and drinking straws.

Routine

Creed craves routine.

“He likes to drive the same route to our destination, tells me when I should get over, asks if I am watching for the exit and how fast am I going,” Penni said.

He also wants everyone else to follow rules, she said.

“It drives him crazy if Mr. Dumke keeps them just an extra minute or two past his scheduled departure time,” she said.

Creed is currently in Howard Dumke’s third grade class at Eugene Field. He is mainstreamed for special classes like PE, music and art and also has some regular classroom time. He receives speech, occupational therapy and social skills intervention.

“We are incredibly lucky to have the support we do from Eugene Field Elementary School,” Penni said.

In the early stages of this autism, he would become frustrated or agitated and have episodes of Echolalia, which is repeating random things he had heard, she said.

Now he’s focused on a six-rotation medley. He randomly shouts out digital clock times, like 5:09, and then backward, 9:05, for six rotations.

Gift of autism

Penni advocates for more support for mental and behavioral health in Maryville to help Creed and the other one in 54 like him.

“Being in this largely rural area, access to services for autism are nearly nonexistent,” she said.

She also hopes her efforts with awareness will help people understand and embrace autism.

“Our country has to understand and embrace the gift of autism and create and find suitable opportunities for these individuals,” she said. “In the right places, with the right training and support, individuals on the spectrum can be productive citizens.”

When people realize that potential, their eyes can open to see those magical moments that Penni sees with Creed.

It is the gift that is called autism.